Witch Pumpkin Carving

 This took a lot of coffee breaks. I thought since I carve wood characters, I'd try my hand at a few pumpkin carvings.

Tedious but fun and satisfying.

Fake History of Coffee

  I just know as this blog grows; someone is going to complain that what I am saying is not true.

That's what FAKE means. 😅

So, coffee is said to be traced to Ethiopia, where a goat herder noticed his goats becoming jumpy and full of energy after eating some ot the berries from an arabica plant.

Wrong. 

A caveman actually noticed a dinosaur acting loopy after eating berries from a plant.

I'm not swearing to this, but many historians believe this to be a fact. It tosses history for a loop because most scientists say dinosaurs and cavemen did not coexist, but they may have never watched The Flintstones.

Sun vs Runner

 

Dinosaurs and a Calvin & Hobbes Lookalike?

 

Is it just me or does this tiger kind of resemble a popular and well-known cartoon character?

Yep. Messing around with AI again. I'm a fan of Calvin & Hobbes and was trying to generate some pictures of dinosaurs in that style. This little guy showed up and there was no way I couldn't share it.

I kind of like the looks of this little guy but I'm not sure of the legalities of turning him into my own cartoon. So I'll just show it to you here for your enjoyment.

Stickman Funnies - Arthritis

 I got into drawing stickmen comics many years ago. It was fun and I had a blast coming up with the drawings and the captions.

I'll add a few from time to time and hopefully you get a kick out of them.

Lucky Little Red Riding Hood

 Things could have gone very badly for Little Red Riding Hood. She was in a particularly nasty mood when she stumbled upon the big bad wolf. 

She said some things to the wolf no one should ever say to a wild animal.

It turned out to be her lucky day.

Pig-Pen vs Mr. Clean. Who Would Win?

  I saw this and there was no way I couldn't share it with you.

Everybody knows the Peanuts gang. 

Mr. Clean? Of course.

Scrubbing Bubble? Maybe not so much.

Pig-Pen would offer them one heck of a challenge. Who do you think would win?

I'm putting my money on Pig-Pen. This little guy is pretty feisty. And you just know Snoopy is close by just in case.

How The Three Blind Mice Went Blind

 It's not well known how the 3 blind mice went blind.

Seems one day Timmy, one of the mice, ran bursting into the hole in the wall and told the mice about the solar eclipse that was coming. He said you needed special glasses to watch it.

What is well known is that mice are not very good at making things.

Weird Solar Eclipse Crowd

 Everyone is talking about the solar eclipse. If you're in a crowd watching, you might want to look around and see what crazies crept into the crowd.

Be careful also. Remember the Three Blind Mice?

7-Up in the Comics

 I thought you might get a kick out of seeing a 7-Up ad from a 1958 Comic Book. The comic is Fritzi Ritz.

I'm sure this ad has appeared in other comics, but when I came across it, I decided to add it. 

This ad is sponsored by Disney and promotes "Zorro", a weekly TV series. 

Fun Fact: 7-Up has been a popular soft drink since the 1920's. The original name the company came up with was ‘Bib-Label Lithiated Lemon-Lime Carbonated Soda’?” 

Just rolls off your tongue. I'm betting the soda clerk would shake his head and give him a Coke.

Why Bigfoot Has Not Been Seen

 Bigfoot explains, in his own words, why no one has yet found him. It's also a reason he is a big fan of cell phones.

Now to be fair, there are the Bigfoots hunters on TV. They are actively looking for him. They sweep an area with what? 

4 people?

Don't worry. Here's my spoof animation of a couple Bigfoot hunters who seem fairly clueless.

Wood Carved Pickle Resembles Bart Simpson

Grab a cup of coffee and come and listen bout a story of a man called Jeb . . . Whoops. Wrong story.

 Is it just me or does this pickle resemble Bart Simpson?

Funny story. I started out trying to carve a ghost. I cut in the arms and didn't like them so carved away. Turned it around and tried again. Same result. Carved those away.

Now the carving was getting too thin to be a ghost. So I dug in some eyes.

Disaster!! 

Carved them away. Added eyes and was going to carve a wide-open mouth with teeth when my first cuts made me realize a tongue was protruding. So I carved it, and it became a tongue.

I finished and wasn't sure what it was but noticed the carving resembled Bart Simpson somewhat. Finally, I decided it was a pickle. Probably what Bart would look like if he became a pickle. 

Oh and, if you never watched the Beverly Hillbillies, you don't have a clue about how I started this story. 😊

AI Generated Coffee Fake Facts Story

  I'm sure most of you know about AI. It's fascinating and maybe a little scary? 

Maybe. But I'm doing some experimenting with AI and finding all sorts of things that can be done. But this is a blog about coffee. So let me show you a story that was actually created using AI. I used to write books under the name B.B. Knight so if I was using AI, most likely I'd just have it spit out some story ideas and then take it from there.

But this story cracked me up and I thought I'd share it with you. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Once upon a time in the whimsical land of Caffetopia, there existed a magical coffee bean named Bob. Bob was no ordinary bean; he possessed the extraordinary ability to grant people with incredible, albeit fictional, coffee facts.


One fine morning, Bob found himself being brewed in a cheerful coffee shop called "Caffeinated Delights." As the hot water seeped through his aromatic essence, Bob's magical powers were unleashed. The barista, a young and enthusiastic coffee lover named Emma, unknowingly poured Bob's enchanting elixir into a cup.

Little did Emma know that with every sip, her customers would be gifted with bizarre coffee facts that would leave them perplexed and amused.

The first customer, a regular named Frank, took a sip of the enchanted brew and suddenly found himself speaking in rhymes. Startled but amused, he began sharing coffee facts in poetic verses. With a twinkle in his eye, he revealed, "Did you know that coffee beans secretly practice ballet in the moonlight? They pirouette and arabesque while humming the theme song from 'The Nutcracker.'"

The coffee shop erupted in laughter as the customers were enchanted by Frank's lyrical revelation. They couldn't wait to experience the magical coffee facts for themselves.

Next in line was a timid young lady named Lisa. As she sipped the coffee, a delightful surprise awaited her. She gained the ability to read the minds of coffee beans. Lisa gasped in astonishment and announced, "You won't believe it! Coffee beans hold secret meetings at midnight to discuss world domination. They're plotting to take over the world, one cup at a time!"

The coffee shop buzzed with excitement as customers marveled at the amusing coffee facts. Each person who sipped the enchanted brew discovered a unique and whimsical talent.

As the day progressed, people started flocking to "Caffeinated Delights" in search of the mystical coffee. The shop became a hub of laughter and entertainment. From spontaneous dancing to uncontrollable laughter, the magical coffee facts transformed the mundane into the extraordinary.

However, as evening fell, Bob's enchantment began to fade. The last customer, a curious child named Max, took a sip and eagerly waited for his magical talent to emerge. To his dismay, nothing happened. Bob's power had been exhausted.

Emma, the barista, noticed Max's disappointment and, with a smile, explained that the magical coffee facts were all in good fun. She assured him that the joy and laughter they experienced were the true magic of coffee.

And so, the tale of Bob, the magical coffee bean, and his whimsical coffee facts became legendary in Caffetopia.

 "Caffeinated Delights" continued to serve delicious coffee, but the memory of the enchanted brew and the laughter it brought remained forever imprinted in the hearts of those who experienced its magic.

Leprechaun Finds Gold - Thinks Bitcoin

 Once upon a rainbow-drenched morning in the heart of Ireland, a mischievous leprechaun named Seamus stumbled upon a glittering pot of gold at the end of a particularly vibrant rainbow. Seamus's eyes sparkled with excitement as he clutched the precious coins in his tiny hands.

"Now, what to do with all this gold?" Seamus pondered, his mind racing with possibilities. He had heard whispers from the forest fairies about a mysterious digital treasure known as Bitcoin.

"I've got it!" Seamus exclaimed, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "I'll buy myself some Bitcoin and become the richest leprechaun in all of the Emerald Isle!"

And so he exchanged the gold for Bitcoin.

And did he become the richest leprechaun. Well . . .  yes - then no - then yes - then no - then  . . . . 

Dinosaur Prophet?

Procrastinating At Its Best

 Can you relate?

Beetle Bailey - Memories

 I came across this Beetle Bailey metal sign on Ebay. I was looking for a Beetle Bailey sign I could add to one of my walls in my newly decorated cartoon room.

I grabbed this the moment I saw it because I can relate to this picture. I was a sergeant in the army, and it was my last couple days in Vietnam. I have no idea why I had a bucket of water near me. It's possible one of the Vietnamese girls was cleaning our barracks. I was inside because the last few days of my tour I was not allowed to leave the area for safety reasons.

Anyway, I grabbed the bucket and walked to the door and yelled "Geronimo" as I tossed the water outside. It was like slow motion because as I was tossing the water, I saw the captain walking towards me, and I tried but couldn't stop the momentum. He got soaked.

I started apologizing to him but also couldn't stop laughing. The captain was not a friendly guy, but he surprised me. I don't remember his exact words, but it was on the order that I was lucky I was going home, and it was a good thing I was well respected for my time there.

I'll never forget that moment and this sign was a must have.

Be Careful What You Wish For

 

When I said I wanted to live on a small, deserted island, I just assumed you would understand the wish!!!

Did Caveman Drink Coffee?

 This is curious. Is it possible that cavemen drank coffee? This cavegirl seems to know something that the guys are clueless about. 

I mean why wouldn't the coffee bean have grown in prehistoric days? If it did, it's possible . . . OK. I'm wildly speculating. But still. 

If I recall, Fred Flintstone was a coffee drinker. 

Quirky "This Little Piggy Went to Market" Animation

 The books I've written under the pseudo name, B. B. Knight, are humorous and there are fractured fairy tales and fractured nursery rhymes.

Well, guess what.

So are my animations. I know you'll enjoy this quirky and humorous take on "This Little Piggy Went to Market."

Grumpy Corn on the Cob Wood Carving

I hope you enjoy seeing an occasional wood carving. I'll try to make them comical to fit the theme of this site.

He looks like he's saying, "Don't even think about eating me!"

I got him from a carving video on YouTube. The guy's name is Linker, and he makes lots of terrific carving videos. I made plenty of mistakes but adjusted for them. That's what makes each carving unique.

Screaming Army Drill Sergeant

 So I got back into wood carving after being away from it for 15 years or more. YouTube videos make it easier to learn than back in the old days.

This started out as a mad Santa Claus, but I got lost trying to carve the hat so changed to a screaming drill sergeant (brought back memories). Anyone who was in the military can appreciate this. I had a drill sergeant scream at me to get rid of the peach fuzz and show beard stubble to shave. I was 17 so . . .

After I finished, I was trying to decide where to put it and the moment I saw this plant pot my daughter got me, it just fit in perfectly. 

He Needs His Coffee Until . . .

 

I came across this cartoon on YouTube and had to share it.

The guy obviously needs his coffee to start his day. He becomes a road rage turd. But when he gets to the drive in, what does he do?

I think I've been behind him in the past.

Drinking Coffee Leads to Success

 Fake News Flash: A recent study has found that coffee drinkers are more likely to be successful in their careers and take over the world.

The study, which surveyed 10,000 people, found that those who drank at least three cups of coffee a day were more likely to have high-powered jobs and be in positions of authority. So, if you want to rule the world, start drinking more coffee!

Which appears to be the case. News of this study sparked an increase in sales of coffee makers. Coffee supplies are low at the moment as coffee suppliers rush to keep up with the demand.

Move over, world leaders. The real power lies in the hands of coffee drinkers. Don't underestimate the caffeine-fueled brain of a coffee addict.

"I always knew there was something special about my morning coffee. Now I can proudly tell everyone that I'm not just drinking coffee, I'm preparing for my world domination."

Cartoon Mania Computer Room

 Putting together this blog has always been fun. I like cartoons and have since I was a kid many, many moons ago. 

So I was sitting in my computer room, which used to be my daughter's room and later was my grandson's room. The border was flowers and pretty worn out. When my wife was alive, she decorated the rooms, other than my man cave. 

I finally decided the border had to go. Looked everywhere for a nature border. Too expensive. Then I came across some looney tunes borders on Ebay. Self-adhesive was what I needed. I found this one for a very good price and it had looney tunes and football. 

Perfect!

Now I'm slowly adding cartoons as I come across them. I thought you might get a kick out of seeing the result.

Diary of Little Red Riding Hood

I use to write books under the pseudo name B.D. Knight. Fractured fairy tales were my favorite, but I wrote a large variety of books dealing with fantasy and school and more. 

This is one of my favorites. The Diary of Little Red Riding Hood. I've written the Diary of Little Miss Muffet as well. Here's a sample chapter from Red Riding Hood.

Wednesday

My name is Little Red Riding Hood. Yeah, yeah, the same Little Red Riding Hood you read about.

I decided to write this diary after I read Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

First of all this is a diary. I’m a girl. If I want to write a diary I can. It doesn’t make me a wimp.

Secondly, if you start to read this and want pictures, go away. I don’t draw and before the stupid wimpy kid diary, how many diaries had pictures in them?

I started this today because I’m going to change my life and today is the day I’m starting. If anything happens to me, maybe this diary will help whoever finds it figure out why I left.

My life is boring. I’m talking boring. I start to play and mom calls me and tells me to take a basket of goodies to grandma.

I mean I love my grandma but come on. You know how the story goes. Grandma’s sick and mom wants me to take her a basket. I start carrying my basket through the woods and a wolf stops me. I’m not supposed to know he’s bad. Really?

So I tell the wolf where I’m going and he tells me to pick flowers to delay me. I dilly dally around long enough for him to get to grandma’s house.

I knock on grandma’s door and a voice which is obviously not my grandma’s voice tells me to come in. I’m not really as dumb as all that but I have to go in anyway. Because, well, that’s what I’m supposed to do.

It’s weird. Sometimes my grandma is tied in the closet and other times the wolf already ate her. I mean what kind of sicko writes something for kids where their grandma is ate?

So the wolf tells me to come closer. I mean he’s wearing my grandma’s nightgown and night hat and all but really? I’m supposed to not know it’s a wolf?

So I have to pretend to ask him why his nose is so big and other stuff that’s ridiculous. Finally he yanks back the covers and oh my. I realize it’s a wolf and I scream.

A woodcutter saves me and if my grandma is in the closet, she comes out. Of course why she didn’t warn me I’ll never know. Do I really think she was knocked out for all that time? Or if she was eaten the woodcutter pulls my grandma out of the wolf’s stomach. Right.

I also sometimes get eaten by the wolf and have to be pulled back out with her. How stupid is that? And do you have any idea what it’s like to be pulled out of a wolf’s stomach? Yuck!

I mean you can shower and shower and you can’t get the yuck off you.

Well today I plan to make changes. I’ll tell you more 

If you'd like to read this book, it's only 99 cents at Amazon. The Diary of Little Red Riding Hood. I hope you enjoy it.