Screaming Army Drill Sergeant

 So I got back into wood carving after being away from it for 15 years or more. YouTube videos make it easier to learn than back in the old days.

This started out as a mad Santa Claus, but I got lost trying to carve the hat so changed to a screaming drill sergeant (brought back memories). Anyone who was in the military can appreciate this. I had a drill sergeant scream at me to get rid of the peach fuzz and show beard stubble to shave. I was 17 so . . .

After I finished, I was trying to decide where to put it and the moment I saw this plant pot my daughter got me, it just fit in perfectly. 

He Needs His Coffee Until . . .

 

I came across this cartoon on YouTube and had to share it.

The guy obviously needs his coffee to start his day. He becomes a road rage turd. But when he gets to the drive in, what does he do?

I think I've been behind him in the past.

Drinking Coffee Leads to Success

 Fake News Flash: A recent study has found that coffee drinkers are more likely to be successful in their careers and take over the world.

The study, which surveyed 10,000 people, found that those who drank at least three cups of coffee a day were more likely to have high-powered jobs and be in positions of authority. So, if you want to rule the world, start drinking more coffee!

Which appears to be the case. News of this study sparked an increase in sales of coffee makers. Coffee supplies are low at the moment as coffee suppliers rush to keep up with the demand.

Move over, world leaders. The real power lies in the hands of coffee drinkers. Don't underestimate the caffeine-fueled brain of a coffee addict.

"I always knew there was something special about my morning coffee. Now I can proudly tell everyone that I'm not just drinking coffee, I'm preparing for my world domination."

Cartoon Mania Computer Room

 Putting together this blog has always been fun. I like cartoons and have since I was a kid many, many moons ago. 

So I was sitting in my computer room, which used to be my daughter's room and later was my grandson's room. The border was flowers and pretty worn out. When my wife was alive, she decorated the rooms, other than my man cave. 

I finally decided the border had to go. Looked everywhere for a nature border. Too expensive. Then I came across some looney tunes borders on Ebay. Self-adhesive was what I needed. I found this one for a very good price and it had looney tunes and football. 

Perfect!

Now I'm slowly adding cartoons as I come across them. I thought you might get a kick out of seeing the result.

Diary of Little Red Riding Hood

I use to write books under the pseudo name B.D. Knight. Fractured fairy tales were my favorite, but I wrote a large variety of books dealing with fantasy and school and more. 

This is one of my favorites. The Diary of Little Red Riding Hood. I've written the Diary of Little Miss Muffet as well. Here's a sample chapter from Red Riding Hood.

Wednesday

My name is Little Red Riding Hood. Yeah, yeah, the same Little Red Riding Hood you read about.

I decided to write this diary after I read Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

First of all this is a diary. I’m a girl. If I want to write a diary I can. It doesn’t make me a wimp.

Secondly, if you start to read this and want pictures, go away. I don’t draw and before the stupid wimpy kid diary, how many diaries had pictures in them?

I started this today because I’m going to change my life and today is the day I’m starting. If anything happens to me, maybe this diary will help whoever finds it figure out why I left.

My life is boring. I’m talking boring. I start to play and mom calls me and tells me to take a basket of goodies to grandma.

I mean I love my grandma but come on. You know how the story goes. Grandma’s sick and mom wants me to take her a basket. I start carrying my basket through the woods and a wolf stops me. I’m not supposed to know he’s bad. Really?

So I tell the wolf where I’m going and he tells me to pick flowers to delay me. I dilly dally around long enough for him to get to grandma’s house.

I knock on grandma’s door and a voice which is obviously not my grandma’s voice tells me to come in. I’m not really as dumb as all that but I have to go in anyway. Because, well, that’s what I’m supposed to do.

It’s weird. Sometimes my grandma is tied in the closet and other times the wolf already ate her. I mean what kind of sicko writes something for kids where their grandma is ate?

So the wolf tells me to come closer. I mean he’s wearing my grandma’s nightgown and night hat and all but really? I’m supposed to not know it’s a wolf?

So I have to pretend to ask him why his nose is so big and other stuff that’s ridiculous. Finally he yanks back the covers and oh my. I realize it’s a wolf and I scream.

A woodcutter saves me and if my grandma is in the closet, she comes out. Of course why she didn’t warn me I’ll never know. Do I really think she was knocked out for all that time? Or if she was eaten the woodcutter pulls my grandma out of the wolf’s stomach. Right.

I also sometimes get eaten by the wolf and have to be pulled back out with her. How stupid is that? And do you have any idea what it’s like to be pulled out of a wolf’s stomach? Yuck!

I mean you can shower and shower and you can’t get the yuck off you.

Well today I plan to make changes. I’ll tell you more 

If you'd like to read this book, it's only 99 cents at Amazon. The Diary of Little Red Riding Hood. I hope you enjoy it.