Friday, January 5, 2024

Diary of Little Red Riding Hood

I use to write books under the pseudo name B.D. Knight. Fractured fairy tales were my favorite, but I wrote a large variety of books dealing with fantasy and school and more. 

This is one of my favorites. The Diary of Little Red Riding Hood. I've written the Diary of Little Miss Muffet as well. Here's a sample chapter from Red Riding Hood.

My name is Little Red Riding Hood. Yeah, yeah, the same Little Red Riding Hood you read about.

I decided to write this diary after I read Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

First of all this is a diary. I’m a girl. If I want to write a diary I can. It doesn’t make me a wimp.

Secondly, if you start to read this and want pictures, go away. I don’t draw and before the stupid wimpy kid diary, how many diaries had pictures in them?

I started this today because I’m going to change my life and today is the day I’m starting. If anything happens to me, maybe this diary will help whoever finds it figure out why I left.

My life is boring. I’m talking boring. I start to play and mom calls me and tells me to take a basket of goodies to grandma.

I mean I love my grandma but come on. You know how the story goes. Grandma’s sick and mom wants me to take her a basket. I start carrying my basket through the woods and a wolf stops me. I’m not supposed to know he’s bad. Really?

So I tell the wolf where I’m going and he tells me to pick flowers to delay me. I dilly dally around long enough for him to get to grandma’s house.

I knock on grandma’s door and a voice which is obviously not my grandma’s voice tells me to come in. I’m not really as dumb as all that but I have to go in anyway. Because, well, that’s what I’m supposed to do.

It’s weird. Sometimes my grandma is tied in the closet and other times the wolf already ate her. I mean what kind of sicko writes something for kids where their grandma is ate?

So the wolf tells me to come closer. I mean he’s wearing my grandma’s nightgown and night hat and all but really? I’m supposed to not know it’s a wolf?

So I have to pretend to ask him why his nose is so big and other stuff that’s ridiculous. Finally he yanks back the covers and oh my. I realize it’s a wolf and I scream.

A woodcutter saves me and if my grandma is in the closet, she comes out. Of course why she didn’t warn me I’ll never know. Do I really think she was knocked out for all that time? Or if she was eaten the woodcutter pulls my grandma out of the wolf’s stomach. Right.

I also sometimes get eaten by the wolf and have to be pulled back out with her. How stupid is that? And do you have any idea what it’s like to be pulled out of a wolf’s stomach? Yuck!

I mean you can shower and shower and you can’t get the yuck off you.

Well today I plan to make changes. I’ll tell you more 

If you'd like to read this book, it's only 99 cents at Amazon. The Diary of Little Red Riding Hood. I hope you enjoy it.

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